In May of 2019 we found out after a year of trying that we were pregnant. We were both so excited. However, that excitement was short lived. After seeing the doctor a few times and undergoing tests we were told that I was experiencing a molar pregnancy and I needed emergency surgery. A molar pregnancy is relatively rare and to put it in the most basic terms instead of a baby forming a tumor that was growing in my body and it needed removed right away. However, my body still thought it was pregnant which is why there was a positive pregnancy test and symptoms. In addition to the emergency surgery I was told that there was a possibility of cancer and because of this we couldn’t try to have a baby for another year. Every month for over a year I had to go in and get blood work done to make sure the tumor didn’t come back and there was no cancer. We lost a child and for a year we were in limbo every month worrying about how the test was going to come back. It was honestly one of the most difficult things I’ve had to deal with.
Going back to school that fall seemed impossible. My body was still recovering and emotionally I didn’t feel like I had much to give. But I knew God had made me to be a teacher so I did the best I could. Ever since I was a little girl I just knew I wanted to be a teacher. I knew it was my purpose. However, when I became a mother I longed for the opportunity to stay home with our son. As I was still going through issues with the molar pregnancy we decided that it was time for me to leave teaching and stay home with our son. While I was ecstatic to have this opportunity part of me worried if I’m not teaching what was my purpose?
The beginning of 2020 was extremely difficult as I was still dealing with complications of the molar pregnancy. As a way to cope I started making earrings. It started off with a few pairs and quickly our basement became full of earrings. I started showing them to friends and family and they encouraged me to sell them. My husband was onboard with that idea (I really think he just wanted to get his basement back) and helped me start this business. When it came to the name Created With A Purpose came to mind. Everyone is created with a purpose in life and like I learned your purpose can change.
Through this painful experience I have found a new purpose. My purpose now (other than being the best wife and mom I can possibly be) is to inspire and empower others to achieve their life’s purpose. It doesn’t matter where you are in life, you are created with a purpose. I hope that our products can help add that extra spark of confidence that you need to achieve your life’s purpose.
Update To Our Story - I’m writing this in January of 2021. It’s taken several months to be able to share this but I do feel God nudging me to include this because it is apart of my story.
As I mentioned before I had to go in monthly for blood work to make sure the tumor didn’t come back. I was so thrilled that in July I was done with that. I felt like I could finally close that chapter of my life. I was finally free from that weight! With my last blood test in July coming back negative we were finally cleared to start trying to have a baby.
We got pregnant right away. I was ecstatic!! I felt like this was my reward for going through all the pain. Because of the molar pregnancy we had to monitor my HCG levels very carefully. Quickly we realized things were not progressing like they should. While my levels were rising it was only slightly as opposed to doubling or tripling. Every time I got an update on where my levels were my heart sank. There was no way I could go through losing another child.
It was the end of July and we were supposed to go on vacation with my parents. We weren’t able to go where we normally would because of COVID. So we decided so stay around Lake Erie. Towards the end of vacation I started experiencing some distressing symptoms and I knew I was miscarrying.
I’m not sure I can find words strong enough to describe my emotions. Devastated. Angry. Hurt. Confused. Broken. Empty. Are a few that come to mind. I had a doctors appointment to confirm what I already knew. I had miscarried. I guess you can say that thankfully this time it was a “normal” miscarriage and nothing else medically needed to be done.
I am so fortunate to have such a great support system. It is because of them and my faith that I was able to get through this. I tried to focus on the positive things in my life - my family, friends, and even this business (honestly that’s why I have macrame and wooden earrings now). On days that it became too hard I gave myself some grace and reminded myself eventually it would be better.
Through these experiences I’ve talked with several women who have shared their own stories of loss. Each one is unique and yet at the same time similar. I’ve learned that regardless of when the loss happened - a month ago, a few years ago, 20 years, 60 years the strong heartbreaking pain is still there. As I listened to these women share their stores I could hear that intense pain in their voice.
Our pastor once said that God doesn’t waste pain he uses it for his glory (Romans 8:28). I’ll be the first to admit that oftentimes I struggle with that. But if my pain and experiences can help others then to me it is worth it. It has really been placed on my heart to desire to help other women who have experienced a miscarriage or miscarriages. At this time I’m not entirely sure what this looks like yet but there are some things in the works.
For me there is something therapeutic about writing things out and sharing them. If you are reading this and you’ve experienced this first hand just know you’re not alone. If you need someone to just talk to about things or just want to share your own story don’t hesitate to reach out.💕